It’s ok to not be ok – just don’t stay there.
One of my all-time favorite stories in the Bible is in Exodus, specifically chapter four. It is when God has a dialogue with Moses through a burning bush. I connect with this passage in more ways than one, but something that I find so remarkable about Moses is his brutal honesty with God.
Moses said to the Lord, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.”
The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”
But Moses said, “Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else.”
Then the Lord’s anger burned against Moses and he said, “What about your brother, Aaron the Levite? I know he can speak well. He is already on his way to meet you, and he will be glad to see you. You shall speak to him and put words in his mouth; I will help both of you speak and will teach you what to do. He will speak to the people for you, and it will be as if he were your mouth and as if you were God to him. But take this staff in your hand so you can perform the signs with it.”
Moses brings his feelings to God saying, “Pardon your servant. I am slow of speech.” He has no problem with telling God exactly how he is feeling. He tells God he feels unqualified, powerless, and doubtful.
Something I have forgotten is that God can handle our feelings. I know it sounds elementary, but there have been times when I had to pray angry prayers. I had to fight the part of myself that said being angry at God is wrong. Logically, it makes sense because God is never in the wrong. I am blinded by my earthly perspective. Sometimes, I had to tell God I was disappointed because I thought He would show up in a way He didn’t. My feelings are not a reflection of my faith. They are my feelings; that is all.
In a world that says, “Follow your heart”. Which is basically saying follow your feelings. Do not give your feelings more weight then they deserve. Do not give your feelings what you should give your calling.
Feel what you need to feel.
There is no shame in feeling bad, but as Matt Chandler said, as long as you don’t stay there.
Also, I love how God responds to Moses when he expresses his feelings. God reminds him who he is. God made Pharoah. God made the mouth which Moses said was unqualified to speak. I have found through experience that when I come to God with my feelings, He responds with truths of who He is.
If I am feeling lonely. He reminds me of his ever-present Spirit.
If I am feeling powerless. He reminds me that his power is sufficient in my weakness.
If I am feeling sad. He reminds me that this is a day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.
If I am feeling hopeless. He reminds me of my eternal home.
If I am feeling lost. He reminds me that His Word is the lamp to my feet.
Come to God with all your feelings and with a heart that wants to know Him more. God is everything I need and so much more. He is greater than my feelings. In any relationship, vulnerability is important, but with God, it shows a willingness to reveal your whole self to a God who knows you better than yourself. I pray that you would be completely transparent with God and enter into a deeper relationship with Him.
Grace and peace,